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Separation & Reconciliation

Christian divorce, separation and marital reconciliation 

 

All the same issues are present when a Christian couple is seeking a Christian separation as when seeking a divorce. These issues are extremely important to address upfront, prior to the separation rather than after a separation, particularly if there is hope for reconciliation. These issues are ones that cause animosity, fighting and hardening of hearts if left unattended. Christian reconciliation help is available. First though, let’s understand the different types of separation. 

  1. Therapeutic Separation Help For Christians (Click Here)

  2. Living Separate and Apart Help For Christians (Click Here) 

  3. Legal Separation Help For Christians (Click Here)

The goal of a therapeutic separation is to separate but with the hope of reconciliation, and with a specific plan of the steps to be taken. So often people want to reconcile but don’t believe that their current living circumstances can continue. Sometimes this is because of conflict, safety concerns, children, substance abuse, psychological issues, or for other reasons. Because of this, they believe they need to separate although they still hope for reconciliation if the underlying issue can be healed. An analogy is a person reaching for a pan on a hot stove and burning their hand. When their hand is burning, they must pull it away. That is the separation. Next, they put burn ointment on it, bandage it, and quickly see a doctor. That is the therapeutic part of the therapeutic separation. If the person just pulls away and doesn’t address the burn, the wound infects and gets worse, and ultimately becomes life threatening. Likewise, if the couple separate without the therapeutic plan, the marriage continues to get worse, and almost always, the marriage fails. 

Christian Divorce Services helps Christian couples when they are facing Christian Separation or Christian Therapeutic Separation. We are not the reconcilers, nonetheless, our role is an extremely important part of a therapeutic separation, and a frequently overlooked one.  

Christian therapeutic separation and reconciliation help is available. There are three parts to a well-constructed Christian Therapeutic Separation plan. 

  1. Structure for Christian Therapeutic Separation and Reconciliation Help 

  2. Children and Christian Therapeutic Separation and Reconciliation Help 

  3. Finances and Christian Therapeutic Separation and Reconciliation Help 

  • There are two major components to a divorce that are required by the state courts.
    The first is called a Parenting Plan (if you have minor children). A parenting plan in some states is also known as a " custody and visitation plan " or a " child support plan ". We believe we can help you achieve a better Christian parenting plan than a court can impose upon you. We believe that two Christian parents, no matter how embattled they are, know better what their children need than a judge who has no stake in your children's life. You likely can't develop the plan on your own because your relationship has broken down to the point of divorce. We all are Biblically directed to take any disputes to the Church for resolution, (MT 18:17, "If he refuses to listen, tell it to the church"); however, the local Church almost always is not capable of developing a Christian parenting plan for the court simply because most ministers don't have the training and experience necessary to handle these matters. We have resolved so many Christian parenting plans that we have the ability to bring our experience to bear on your case and assist you in developing a Christian parenting plan that works for both of you as well as for your children. The Bible directs us "Therefore, if you have disputes about such matters, appoint as judges even men of little account in the church!" (1Cor 6:4). While we certainly don't know it all, we have handled so many cases that we know where so many of the pitfalls lay. We use that experience, prayer, and training to develop a customised parenting plan that is noticeably better than what the courts will issue.
  • The second component of a divorce is a Separation Agreement or sometimes called a Marital Settlement Agreement.
    The separation agreement is not the separation of the two of you, but rather, the separation of your assets, liabilities, support, and other material issues. We believe we can assist you to develop a better Christian marital settlement or separation agreement than the courts would impose upon you. The objective of the litigation process is to defeat the other side, not to do what is right. There is a big difference. In litigation, the objective of your spouse's attorney is to defeat and destroy you. Your attorney's objective is to defeat and destroy your spouse. The result of this litigation process is defeat (1Cor. 6:7). Christian Divorce Services objective is to assist you both in developing a Christian marital settlement agreement or separation agreement that is fair and satisfactory to both of you. Again, you likely can't develop the plan on your own because your relationship has broken down to the point of divorce. We will assist you to get there. The litigation process is so destructive that the reconciliation rate is approximately 0.03% after a litigated verdict. Litigation yields hatred beyond what you may experience now. There is a better way.

When a couple is considering living separate and apart but not seeking a legal separation, therapeutic separation, or a divorce, all of the same issues related to children, assets, debts, and financial support are still present. How to handle those issues though is specific to the reason for living separately. If the couple hopes to reconcile, they should consider a Christian Marital Therapeutic Separation and address the issues discussed in that section above.

  • There are two major components to a divorce that are required by the state courts.
    The first is called a Parenting Plan (if you have minor children). A parenting plan in some states is also known as a " custody and visitation plan " or a " child support plan ". We believe we can help you achieve a better Christian parenting plan than a court can impose upon you. We believe that two Christian parents, no matter how embattled they are, know better what their children need than a judge who has no stake in your children's life. You likely can't develop the plan on your own because your relationship has broken down to the point of divorce. We all are Biblically directed to take any disputes to the Church for resolution, (MT 18:17, "If he refuses to listen, tell it to the church"); however, the local Church almost always is not capable of developing a Christian parenting plan for the court simply because most ministers don't have the training and experience necessary to handle these matters. We have resolved so many Christian parenting plans that we have the ability to bring our experience to bear on your case and assist you in developing a Christian parenting plan that works for both of you as well as for your children. The Bible directs us "Therefore, if you have disputes about such matters, appoint as judges even men of little account in the church!" (1Cor 6:4). While we certainly don't know it all, we have handled so many cases that we know where so many of the pitfalls lay. We use that experience, prayer, and training to develop a customised parenting plan that is noticeably better than what the courts will issue.
  • The second component of a divorce is a Separation Agreement or sometimes called a Marital Settlement Agreement.
    The separation agreement is not the separation of the two of you, but rather, the separation of your assets, liabilities, support, and other material issues. We believe we can assist you to develop a better Christian marital settlement or separation agreement than the courts would impose upon you. The objective of the litigation process is to defeat the other side, not to do what is right. There is a big difference. In litigation, the objective of your spouse's attorney is to defeat and destroy you. Your attorney's objective is to defeat and destroy your spouse. The result of this litigation process is defeat (1Cor. 6:7). Christian Divorce Services objective is to assist you both in developing a Christian marital settlement agreement or separation agreement that is fair and satisfactory to both of you. Again, you likely can't develop the plan on your own because your relationship has broken down to the point of divorce. We will assist you to get there. The litigation process is so destructive that the reconciliation rate is approximately 0.03% after a litigated verdict. Litigation yields hatred beyond what you may experience now. There is a better way.

Legal separation is much like a divorce; however, the marriage is not terminated. It provides a married couple a way to legally separate their assets, finances, debts, provide child and spousal support, and determine parenting issues like custody and visitation, exactly the same way as happens in divorce. Although a legal separation can be converted to a divorce down the road, Christian couples often will enter into a legal separation because they realize they can’t live together but don’t want to divorce, often due to religious reasons. Other reasons include concerns around maintaining healthcare insurance under an employer’s health plan, social security benefit issues, substance abuse and risk management issue and more.

  • There are two major components to a divorce that are required by the state courts.
    The first is called a Parenting Plan (if you have minor children). A parenting plan in some states is also known as a " custody and visitation plan " or a " child support plan ". We believe we can help you achieve a better Christian parenting plan than a court can impose upon you. We believe that two Christian parents, no matter how embattled they are, know better what their children need than a judge who has no stake in your children's life. You likely can't develop the plan on your own because your relationship has broken down to the point of divorce. We all are Biblically directed to take any disputes to the Church for resolution, (MT 18:17, "If he refuses to listen, tell it to the church"); however, the local Church almost always is not capable of developing a Christian parenting plan for the court simply because most ministers don't have the training and experience necessary to handle these matters. We have resolved so many Christian parenting plans that we have the ability to bring our experience to bear on your case and assist you in developing a Christian parenting plan that works for both of you as well as for your children. The Bible directs us "Therefore, if you have disputes about such matters, appoint as judges even men of little account in the church!" (1Cor 6:4). While we certainly don't know it all, we have handled so many cases that we know where so many of the pitfalls lay. We use that experience, prayer, and training to develop a customised parenting plan that is noticeably better than what the courts will issue.
  • The second component of a divorce is a Separation Agreement or sometimes called a Marital Settlement Agreement.
    The separation agreement is not the separation of the two of you, but rather, the separation of your assets, liabilities, support, and other material issues. We believe we can assist you to develop a better Christian marital settlement or separation agreement than the courts would impose upon you. The objective of the litigation process is to defeat the other side, not to do what is right. There is a big difference. In litigation, the objective of your spouse's attorney is to defeat and destroy you. Your attorney's objective is to defeat and destroy your spouse. The result of this litigation process is defeat (1Cor. 6:7). Christian Divorce Services objective is to assist you both in developing a Christian marital settlement agreement or separation agreement that is fair and satisfactory to both of you. Again, you likely can't develop the plan on your own because your relationship has broken down to the point of divorce. We will assist you to get there. The litigation process is so destructive that the reconciliation rate is approximately 0.03% after a litigated verdict. Litigation yields hatred beyond what you may experience now. There is a better way.
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